How many times have you heard someone say that "beauty is only skin deep"? How many times have you heard that "Inner beauty is the only "true" beauty"? What is I told you that neither of these statements is all-the-way true?
What do you see when you see this picture? Which is the reflection?
Was the blonde or the brunette the reflection? Was the Brunette the "bad" one? Was the blonde one the innocent one? What is I told you that the blonde was the one trapping the brunette away from her family and friends? What if I told you that the brunette was evil and was about to meet defeat? Either way, no matter what you see in that picture, it is proof that a narrative can push what one sees - this includes what we see when we look in the mirror, it is directly connected to what we feel inside. How you feel about you determines so much of your beauty.
Don't Be Defined
I think the thing that made me realize how important it was to understand how critical self-beauty and acceptance was after my hair started falling out. I never realized how much my hair was attached to my definition of self. My long thick honey blonde hair started getting darker and darker with age...that was the first disappointment. Then when I hit 40 my hair started to thin and not grow as fast...and now in my late 40s...well, I can see my scalp if I stand in the sun. Fancy wigs with HD lace, weaves, crochet braids - you name it - I tried them all and no matter what I did, no matter how much money I spent...nothing made me truly feel beautiful. The picture on the left is me after a recent shower. The picture on the far right is also a recent picture with one of my favorite wigs (affectionately known by many women as "Julianne"). I LOVE "Julianne". And for a while she made me feel amazing, but...you have to take it off. After a while, a wig gets old, but those desires to look sexy and beautiful don't and they certainly don't leave when the wig comes off. After I while I realized that my dipping self-esteem was measurable in pounds on the scale...well, I knew something had to change.
Beauty had to be tabled for LOVE.
I had to love of myself , my receding hairline, my ever-increasingly wobbly (and sagging) belly, the dark circles around my eyes and let me tell you it wasn't easy at all. Still isn't. But the journey started with some serious...serious self-reflection on what beauty to me and how I fit into that vision. Then I had to redefine that vision...(yep, that was part of it for me.)
A lot of the things that many people consider "inner-beauty" I saw as simply saw as being kind, decent...just a normal person. It was very very difficult to see characteristics as beautiful in myself. But in the journey I also found that there is more to it than characteristics...there was my spirit. And that spirit was beautiful and the poor thing had been neglected for a long time. Inner peace. Inner content. All of these things leads to inner beauty. It's always there. It just has to be noticed even for a second. Meditation, prayer, gratitude, these are just some of the things that will bring out that inner beauty and it will radiate through you and out of you and bring you to your true beauty.
Don't worry. I will share more about this journey in future posts. Make sure you turn on notifications, and sign up for my site...and don't forget to get the app!